I believe part of the goal of this activity was to get us used to talking in front of our peers and finding the words to articulate our thoughts. But if you were like me, I didn’t care about the skills I was learning I was just excited to show-off something I believed had value.

I would try to get to school early enough that I could hide the item in my desk so no one else would be able to see it.  Throughout the day I’d open my desk just a little so I could sneak a peek at my item.  After all, I had to make sure it was still there.

As Show and Tell time drew closer I’d begin to giggle and get butterflies in my stomach.  I don’t think I ever wondered, at least initially, what would happen if the other kids didn’t like my Show and Tell treasure.  I was just too excited to share it.

Whether we think of it in these terms or not, our life is our ultimate Show and Tell treasure.  When we meet someone new we show her a part of ourselves and tell her a bit of our story.  Sometimes we are comfortable sharing more of ourselves and other times we only share a glimpse, but ideally we always share a piece of our lives.

The great thing about Show and Tell is that we always got to go home with the item we brought.  By opening up and sharing it, we didn’t give it away instead; we added value to it because some of the other kids liked it as much as we did.

In the same way, when we share our lives with others we don’t lose ourselves, we gain strength.  When we are able to share our hearts, experiences and stories we are able to watch as others learn from them and get excited about what is to come.  This also creates a safe place for others to share their lives with us.  And in turn, we can grow and learn from their hearts, experiences and stories.

Choose a Better Life ™ by choosing to share your life with others.  Not only is it the ultimate Show and Tell treasure, but it creates opportunities for growth and great relationships.

Estar spent much of her first ten years in hospitals. She had serious breathing and lung problems, a stomach operation, and major immune system problems.  She missed so much school she had to repeat the 3^rd grade.

As she was about to enter the 6^th grade the doctors discovered that the patch they used for her diaphragm repair had calcified and attached itself to her spine.  This bone-like thing began pressing on her lungs making it even harder to breathe and pulled her spine into a 48 degree angle.  And unfortunately, this was by no means the end of Estar’s horrific medical problems.

However, Estar is amazing. She has written a book titled Tomorrow Will Be a Better Day: Lessons from a Wish Child that can be found here:  www.wordtechs.com/indexEstar.html The book is not long, maybe 75 pages or so, but it is filled with wisdom and encouragement.

Estar has every reason to be frustrated and angry, but she is far from it.  A few quotes from her book:

“Sometimes the worst possible thing happens, and we are all caught off guard and don’t know just what to do.  We struggle, we worry, and we cry.  Yet even when things go horribly wrong very few things stay wrong.  No matter how wrong a thing, no matter how bad the hurt, no matter how scary the news, things do get better.”

“The thoughts you keep in your mind direct every part of you, and spill out into your life.  It’s kind of like magic when you realize that what you think and say in your mind has power to make all kinds of things happen.”

And two of my favorites:

“You make negative situations irrelevant when you create positive alternatives.”

“The more you put yourself into your problems, the more challenging it is to overcome them.  If everything you are is wrapped up in your limitations, how can you make them go away?”

Even if this book is not something you would normally pick up, I suggest you buy it.  A portion of the proceeds go to grant wishes for other children battling life-threatening illnesses.  This is a most worthy cause, but  I don’t want you to buy it strictly for the other children.  I want you to buy it for yourself.

We all face challenges and there are times when those challenges seem too large to overcome.  They seem to be crowding in on every corner and we get frustrated and angry and scared.  Those responses are normal.  But Estar has found a way to move beyond those normal responses and find joy and happiness despite the challenges … and she has had more than her share.

Choose a Better Life™ by buying this book.  Let Estar’s wisdom seep into your life and help shape your thoughts.  You’ll be encouraged by her and challenged to change the way you perceive difficult times.

As she and I were discussing options it seemed the best plan was to get her a tutor for a few weeks so she could catch up.  “A tutor? No way!” she exclaimed.  Our discussion went on for a few minutes and through heightened emotions she finally said that a tutor would make her feel weak.

Out of frustration I laughed.  She would rather struggle through a class she wasn’t understanding and potentially destroy her GPA than ask for help.  And although one poor class grade may not seem like a big deal, I knew the emotional effects of the grade would haunt her for a long time.  But no matter how much we talked, she was not open to getting a tutor.  Her pride was keeping her from succeeding.

As I was struggling with this situation it dawned on me that as adults we aren’t much different.  We don’t like to ask for help either.  Our reasoning or lack thereof, tends to follow the same pattern my daughter’s.  For some crazy reason, we equate asking for help with weakness.

What a ridiculous thought!  No one can be expected to know everything.  And yet, we think we should be the exception to that rule.  Especially if the area in which we are struggling falls into our area of “expertise” or in an area where we have experience.

I ran into this recently myself.  I have been in business for over 15 years.  I’ve run small businesses and consulted with large corporations.  I’ve worked on large marketing campaigns, designed operation policies and developed a good amount of business.  Although I’d not say I am an expert, I am pretty confident in my overall business skills.  Or so I thought.

As I put together my own solo-preneur consulting practice a year or so ago I struggled with finding my voice and my rhythm.  Although I had great clients including Inc. 500 companies, my business never really flourished like I had hoped.  So now that I am refocusing my efforts on speaking and writing I figured I needed to make a phone call to a branding expert to help me get things going.

During our conversation this expert pointed out to me that I had been trying to apply business rules from the corporate world to my solo-preneurship and that is why it wasn’t working.  As a result of our conversation I realized that in order to be successful I needed to let go of my previous ways of thinking and doing business and learn new methods that would apply to my new situation.  I needed my own business tutor.

After doing some research I decided on a course of action.  I’ve enrolled in a great online “university” lead by one of the top businessmen in the world.  This university focuses strictly on entrepreneurs teaching us both personal and professional principles to help make us successful.

And wow, what a difference!  As I am taking steps to lay a strong foundation for my new venture I am confident in what I’m doing and my excitement continues to build.  I am energized and expecting great things to come.   But I realize that if I hadn’t asked for help I’d still be on the same road filled with struggles and confusion wondering why success was eluding me.

Choose a Better Life ™ by being willing to ask for help.  Reach out to someone who can give you advice or direction or help you learn a new skill.  Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak.  It means you are smart enough to realize you don’t know everything and that learning from someone else will make you better than you are today.

The great opportunities continue to become more and more apparent and I am getting so very excited about what is to come.  On that note, I want to share a few things.

Over the next few months I am taking the time to refocus my business energies.  I will no longer run the Business Insight Group (www.BusinessInsightGroup.net.)  I will still offer team building services to clients, but my main focus will be on speaking and continuing my writing.  I’ve had several requests for a second book and the requests for speaking to companies are increasing.

For many years my dream has been to be a motivational speaker … to share the lessons I’ve learned (and am learning) in an “up front” capacity.  It’s not that I believe I’ve got an enormous amount of insight, but I do understand that often times we need to be challenged in our mode of thinking and I am willing to be the one who challenges.

I’ve also been told that my willingness to be open and authentic about not only the great lessons I’ve learned, but also the great struggles I face, helps others to do the same.  For that I am grateful.

So over the next few months I will continue to blog as I begin to revamp my site.  By the first of April I hope to announce my new website and my new offerings.  In the meantime if you have any ideas as to what you would like to see included on my “author/speaker” site please do not hesitate to let me know.  I value your thoughts and suggestions.

Also, if you know of a web development company that is willing to trade services I’d love to hear about them.  I am looking to trade a 4-hour team building workshop (foundational assessments included) for web development services.  I am more than happy to provide recommendations from others who have attended my workshops including Inc. 500 companies.

I thank you for your continued support.  I am truly ecstatic about what is to come.

Choose a Better Life ™ by continuing to look for the good, even in what appears to be a bad situation.  There is always good, it may just take a while to find it.  Keep looking.

But, not long ago I was informed the event had fallen through, Due to circumstances beyond my control the event was cancelled and there was nothing I could do to change it.  When I heard the news I was crushed.  All the time I spent wading through the details and preparing felt wasted.  To say I was disappointed is an understatement.

However, I knew that disappointment was not the end of the story.  Yes, a door had been closed, but that did not mean that every door had been closed.  So I gave myself a little time. I mourned the dream that had been lost, shared my feelings with two very dear friends, journaled, prayed and decided it was time to refocus.

As I share in my seminars, we may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can always control how we respond to what happens to us.  In this case, I was not going to allow someone else’s decision to leave a cloud of negativity over my life.  I was not going to wallow in the “Why did this happen?” or “Now, I’ll never achieve my dream.”  Instead, I was going to take control of my response and turn this major disappointment into something positive.

So I listed all the other ways I could still achieve my dream.  I had to get a little creative and think outside the box, but I was amazed at all the possibilities that still existed.  Then I listed the good that could come from the cancellation of this event.  As I did this I began to see how much stronger I will become and how beneficial this cancellation will be not only for myself, but also for several people I care about.  And I continue to see new blessings daily.

Choose a Better Life ™ by accepting disappointments not as the end of the story, but as the beginning of a new chapter … a new way of thinking.  Allow yourself the time to mourn the disappointment, but then choose to take control of your response.  Choose to look for the good and be open to new possibilities.  Not only will you blow away the clouds of negativity, but you may also be surprised by the blessings that replace them.

Neither of us had been on a cruise before so we decided that a short 5-day cruise to Cozumel, Mexico would be just the right length to “get our feet wet” and decide if cruising was for us.  Although we both decided we are more interested in destination vacationing (I’d rather spend the 5 days in Mexico than on a cruise to Mexico) we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Knowing we were going to be seated at the dinner table with three other couples, prior to boarding Chuck and I had come up with a discrete sign as a way of communicating to one another.  We had decided that instead of spending several hours with people with whom we didn’t clique, we’d signal the other, make a simple exit and head to the self-serve buffet.

However, shortly after dinner began I forgot to even check with Chuck for the signal.  Instead, I was focused on meeting our tablemates and learning a bit about them.  Over the next several days we shared our hearts, told stories, and laughed for hours.  During the last dinner we had together I shared the “signal story” with our new friends, told them how much Chuck and I enjoyed getting to know them, and thanked them for making our first cruise a wonderful experience.

In addition to making great new friends over dinner, we began chatting with the gentleman who gave our group the safety orientation during our first few hours on the ship.  As it turned out Eugene was one of the entertainers on the ship.   He played a wonderful mix of music throughout the cruise at various ship venues.  We so enjoyed spending time with Eugene that we joined him for drinks and invited him to join us for dinner on the nights he was available.

We also sought out and chatted with our steward, our waiters, and our dining room hostess … all wonderful people from around the world who made our trip that much more enjoyable.

Without a doubt it is the people who made this vacation so wonderful.  When Chuck and I boarded the ship we knew no one.  We had never been on a cruise before and weren’t even sure cruising was something we’d enjoy.  But by simply being open to new experiences and being willing to get to know new people we had a great vacation and made friendships that will last a lifetime.

Choose a Better Life ™ by being open to new experiences and new people.  Even when things seem uncomfortable at first stick around, start conversation, and see what develops.  There may be a kindred spirit just waiting for you to start a wonderful new friendship.

I also have a few shells in my guest room.  They sit on the nightstand in a very large shell that my mom picked up for me several years ago.  The smaller shells that sit inside the large one have been picked up from any number of beaches I’ve visited.

Recently I began thinking about these shells and remembering where they’ve come from.  The ocean is very majestic to me and I can sit and look at it for hours so the shells brought great memories to mind.  But what really intrigued me was remembering how these shells were gathered.

Like most people I usually start with an empty bucket.  I begin picking up shells that look interesting and before long my bucket is full.  But I continue to see shells that are intriguing so I fill my pockets until they are full and I hold as many as possible.  By the time I get back to where I started I am overflowing with shells.

As I was thinking about this, it dawned on me that we really need to be gatherers and collectors of, not things, but joy.

What makes you joyful?  What is it that puts a smile on your face?  These are the things that you need to pursue.  And when you experience one of them, really stop and fully experience it.  Don’t rush through the event onto the next task. Take a minute to stop and enjoy the joy.

My daughter recently wrote on her Facebook page, “I love it when my dog puts her head in my lap and looks up at me.”

It is often the simple things that bring us the most joy.

Some of the things I find joy in are:

• Taking time away from the house to just sit and talk with my husband
• Dreaming about the future
• Dancing in the car with my teenage daughter
• Petting my puppies
• Laughing – anywhere at anything
• Receiving emails from friends
• Re-reading an encouraging note
• Getting together with friends for no reason at all
• Listening to silly songs
• Singing along to my iPod

People tend to take pride in their collections.  They build special shelves for them and display them for everyone to see.  They often revisit their collections to relive memories and share great stories.  We should do the same with joy.

Choose a Better Life ™ by being determined to look for and collect those moments of joy.  Fill your bucket to overflowing – to the point where you have to fill your pockets and hold the excess in your hands.  Then put your joy on display for all to see and experience.

If I could give you one gift to start out the year strongly it would be the gift of reframing. No, I’m not talking about putting new mattes and frames around the pictures on your walls, I’m talking about putting new frames around your experiences … reframing your experiences.

To reframe a situation or experience you simply choose to look at it differently. The key word here is choose. As I’ve said before, you can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can always choose how you respond to it.

Here’s an example… This happened to a friend not too long ago. In fact, it seems to happen to her quite a bit. My friend, I’ll call her Janet, doesn’t make a lot of money. She makes enough to pay her bills and if she’s lucky she can save a few dollars each month. Over the past year she has gotten a few small bonuses at work and was thrilled with the opportunity to put some money in savings.

A few days after she told me she had been able to save several hundred dollars her car broke down. Janet called me from the lobby of the mechanic’s shop as she was waiting for her car to be repaired and she was audibly upset. “How could this happen again? I was just able to put some money in my savings account and now I’m going to have to take it all back out to pay for my car.”

As I said, this seems to happen to Janet quite a bit and so I totally understood her frustration. After several minutes of listening to Janet I gently suggested she change the way she was looking at the experience. Instead of seeing this as a frustration (she just saved money and now it’s gone,) I pointed out that she could choose to see it as a blessed experience (she was able to save the money to get her car repaired before she even knew the car needed repair. And now she can pay for it without going further into debt by using credit cards.)

By simply changing the way she looked at the car repair she reframed her experience from something negative and frustrating to something positive and reassuring.

I’ll give you another example. This is something I am dealing with right now… For Christmas my husband gave me the magnificent gift of a cruise to Mexico. I’ve never been on a cruise and I love Mexico so I’m very excited. We leave on January 20th.

As excited as I am about the cruise, I am equally excited about the 2 ½ weeks of work before the cruise because I have a lot of great projects in the works. I have also packed my 2 ½ weeks full of great meetings and appointments. I set up my schedule so I could leave the country feeling productive and rewarded.

Here it comes … can you sense the twist that is about to happen? I woke up on January 3rd sick. And unfortunately sick for me is not usually a cold or 24-hour flu bug. Typically when I’m sick I’m down for several days with little energy, no voice, and several other not-so-fun symptoms.

Thankfully I always start my week with a doctor appt so I only had a little over 24 hours before I would be able to go in for a treatment. By the time I got to my appointment on Monday I was pretty miserable. In addition to suggesting I increase my 2 visits/week to 3-4 visits this week my doctor said since I was heading out of the country in a few weeks I really needed to take extra precautions with my health. This means not going out in public until I leave for the trip.

“What?!” She explained that because my immune system is currently so compromised that I would more than likely pick up every bug I came in contact with and if I did there may not be time to get me well before I left for my cruise.

So, aside from the fact that I wasn’t feeling well, I came home a bit frustrated. I had such great plans for work and all the things I was going to get accomplished. But, as I sat down to journal I decided that I needed to reframe this experience. Being frustrated was not going to help me get well or stay well. So, I began reframing and I actually came up with quite a list as to why the 2 1/2 weeks was going to be good.

On my list were things like:

• Because I have time to get well and stay well, I’ll start my trip feeling strong and healthy.
• Because I am avoiding re-exposure to illnesses my immune system will be that much stronger.
• I can use this time to get some of the projects done in my home office that have been “on hold.”
• I can organize my 2009 financial records so they are ready for taxes.
• I can do some foundational work on the new workshops I am developing.

Now, instead of being frustrated that I’ve had to cancel my meetings and appointments, I am again excited about what I will get done over the next few weeks. And I’ll still be able to leave for my cruise feeling productive and rewarded.

Choose a Better Life ™ by choosing to reframe situations and experiences that would initially be regarded as negative and turn them into something positive and productive.

For many 2009 was a very challenging year, both personally and professionally. For others it was just another year lived, nothing special, nothing monumental. But for some, 2009 was a good year … a year of taking steps toward a goal or of redefining passions. For most of us, it was a combination of all of these … mixing both good times and challenging ones.

Whatever your experiences in 2009 I hope you look back with some satisfaction knowing you have grown stronger because of the challenges and wiser because of the victories. I also hope you look forward to 2010 with anticipation and excitement knowing that you can choose to create new possibilities and opportunities.

As always, even though you may not be able to choose your circumstances, you can always choose your response to those circumstances. No one can take that from you. And personal choice is incredibly powerful.

Many people take this time of year to set New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve never been a big fan of resolutions, but I am a proponent of goals and priorities – whether they are set at the beginning of the year or throughout. That being said, moving from one year to the next brings a unique opportunity to reflect on the previous year and plan for the coming one.

A few thoughts to help you get started:

Celebrate the good. As you look back on 2009 remember all the good things that happened throughout the year and celebrate them. Even for those of us who had struggles to overcome, there are always God-sightings, places where we can find joy in the midst of the darkness – a smile from a loved one, a word of encouragement from a friend, a step taken toward achieving a goal, a new business relationship, etc. Think back to those times, be thankful for them and celebrate.

Prioritize your time. We are always presented with more opportunities than we have time to take advantage of. It’s when we try to do them all that we run into trouble – we become over-stretched, overburdened and overwhelmed. This year, commit to doing less, better. Pick the few things that align with your priorities and do them well. Say, “No” to the rest.

To help pick you priorities answer this question, “If you could only achieve one thing in 2010 what would it be?”

Schedule time for yourself – often. I’ve shared about the personal retreats I take each year – a few days with just myself, God, my Bible, my journal, my laptop and a great book. I can’t take extensive retreats each quarter, (I do try to take a few days each quarter and a week or so once a year) but I understand the vital role time to myself plays in my mental sanity so scheduling this time is a MUST for me. You need to do the same. Time for yourself makes you a better spouse, parent, friend, co-worker and partner.

Schedule time for your friends and family. With all the craziness in our lives we often take our friends and family for granted. Unfortunately, it is not until we move away or lose a loved one that we realize how much we miss them. Make sacrifices where necessary to ensure you have time with those you love. Your quality of life will improve with every minute.

Renew old acquaintances. Is there a friend you’ve lost touch with? A mentor who impacted your life? An old co-worker you admired? Find five people you want to get in touch with and contact them. Tell them of their importance in your life and thank them for taking the time to make an impact. I have done this recently with a few old girlfriends and it is such a joy to reconnect and share our lives again.

Pay it forward. This is such a passion of mine I can’t emphasize it enough. And for those of you who read my blog regularly or have read my book you know I talk about this often. My family and I have been so blessed by giving to others that it’s hard to put into words just how wonderful paying it forward can be.

Look for ways you can bless someone else without expecting anything in return. When asked how you can be repaid, simply say, “Pay it forward.” As you bless others you will receive joy by watching the ripple effect of blessing pour forward.

Paying it forward is simple. Volunteer your time for a cause that resonates with your passions. Donate items you no longer need to a shelter. Bring in your neighbor’s trash can. Buy coffee for a police officer. Say “Thank you” to a soldier. The opportunities are endless.

Most of all, expect great things in 2010! Allow yourself to dream about the possibilities for this coming year. Remember, your actions are dictated by your beliefs. So if you believe great things are coming your way you will act accordingly and open the door for abundance.

Choose a Better Life in 2010 by choosing to embrace your power of personal choice, being deliberate in your decisions, and setting goals and priorities that propel you toward abundance.

But for many, the holiday season is full of grumpiness and frustrations. I’m not talking about those who have lost a loved-one or who are separated from home. For those a difficult Christmas is understandable. I am talking about the rest of us. For the rest of us the trouble with Christmas is often the trouble with ourselves … specifically, with our expectations.

For any number of reasons we have ideas about how the days surrounding the holidays are to unfold. We have specific tasks that are to take place on specific days: I like to decorate the house for Christmas the Saturday after Thanksgiving. We have specific traditions in which we expect to participate: my family eats bar-b-cued meatballs on Christmas Eve. And let’s be honest, we hope for special gifts under the tree.

But all too often circumstances get in the way and our expectations are not met. The house didn’t get decorated when we had planned, or we weren’t able to enjoy our favorite Christmas foods, or finances are tighter than we had hoped and we aren’t able to give/receive the gifts we wanted, or the schedule was too tight and we were not able to host the annual open house. Any number of things can change the best laid plans.

The key to maintaining your festive spirit and continuing to enjoy the season in the face of disappointment is to let go of your expectations and be flexible. Understand that life happens and we are not always able to do everything we want. But we can still choose to have a fantastic Christmas holiday regardless of last minute changes in plans or traditions gone by the wayside. In fact, being flexible may lead you to new experiences that become traditions in the future.

This is exactly how my family and I came to eat bar-b-cued meatballs on Christmas Eve. Prior to moving across the country we were blessed with hosting Christmas festivities for my extended family. My daughters, husband, and I would bake and cook and prepare. We’d get out the fancy Christmas china and serving dishes. We’d shine the silver and set the table just right.

Then one year we realized that I was spending most of my time in the kitchen and not out with the friends and family I so wished to enjoy. We vowed the next year would be different. So when the season came around again we asked most people to bring an appetizer to share. We informed them we would be using decorative paper plates, instead of the china I had to wash by hand, and that Christmas Eve dinner would consist of the shared food we all brought to the table.

It was wonderful! No stress. Great food. Easy to serve. Easy to clean up.

My mom was the one who brought the meatballs. She threw some store-bought meatballs in a crock pot with bar-b-cue sauce and we put out toothpicks for easy eating. My kids loved it so much they have asked for it each year since. It’s a new tradition that we would not have found had we not been flexible. (By the way, I gave away the Christmas china to someone who would use it each year.)

Don’t dampen Christmas with expectations. Instead, Choose a Better Life ™ by choosing to enjoy the reality of the season as it unfolds around you and be open to new experiences and activities that you may which to incorporate down the road.