Choose a Better Life

There are a number of reasons people don’t ask for what they want: shame, embarrassment, fear, etc.  But regardless of the reason, the outcome is always the same, if you don’t ask, you don’t get.  This is something we’ve taught our daughters from an early age because all too often people live in frustration feeling as if they didn’t get something they wanted or deserved.

It’s a proud moment when one of our girls musters up the courage to ask a teacher to explain a grade or asks a cashier for a discount because an item is damaged.  It’s even encouraging when we are approached with, “I know the house rule is X, but because of these circumstances can I bend the rule this one time?”  We may not give the answer she wants, but at least our daughter has learned to ask for what she desires.

This principal is one we also live by.  My husband and I have been given upgraded seats on flights and better seating at concerts just because we asked.  We’ve been given discounts on clothes and meals and even been given important extras when purchasing a car.

I believe the “trick” is in the asking.  We always ask respectfully and try never to ask for something that would put the giver in a bad situation.  We never want to take something from someone else or cause pain in the process.  And if we are told our request cannot be granted we don’t argue, but thank the person for their consideration.

This Ask Principal holds true in all areas of life not just in asking for material things or services.  One area where the need for asking is the greatest is in the job arena.  So often an employee feels she deserves a raise or promotion but never approaches her boss to ask for one.   Instead she hopes the boss will notice her work and make the offer.  When the offer doesn’t come she is left feeling frustrated and resentful often causing her productivity to suffer.

A more effective approach is to talk to the boss and explain your reasoning for asking for the promotion.  Worst case scenario, you are told no.  Best case scenario, your request is granted.  But even if the promotion is not given at this time, the door is opened for discussions and future planning which leaves you informed and with goals to strive toward.

Like most things in life, asking for what you want takes practice.  Start with something small, say a discount on fruit that is beginning to age at the grocery store.  As your confidence grows begin asking for things that challenge you a bit more.  Before you know it, you’ll be a pro at pursuing what is important to you.

What can you ask for today?

Choose a Better Life by challenging the status quo a bit. Respectfully ask for something you want even if that means you will have to step outside your comfort zone.